There's funny. There's hilarious, and then there's a monkey urinating on the Zambian president. I'm not quite sure where this falls into your comedic scale, but for me it is well into the ninetieth percentile. A brief account from Breitbart.com provides for us a few interesting details including several quotes from President Rupiah Banda himself.
Upon detecting the monkey pee Banda spoke directly to the offending primate who was squatting in an overhead tree. The president proclaimed, “You have urinated on my jacket.” He then turned to the reporters with whom he was speaking and quipped, “I will give this monkey for lunch to Mr. Sata,” speaking of his defeated opponent in the last election. Maybe it's some sort of cultural olive branch to offer someone a monkey for lunch.
I suppose that would be an act of goodwill toward his opponent. Were it to happen in the United States, can you imagine the PETA firestorm that would ensue? That single statement of retribution for “making water” alone would incite protests, especially after our Swatter-in-Chief Obama smacked that annoying fly during an interview a couple of weeks ago.
For me though, the questions around Banda's misfortune are numerous. Does this kind of monkey urine stain? What about the stench? If it were me, I would have to just toss the jacket in the trash and move right along. I'm not trying to have it dry-cleaned. It's going straight to the dumpster.
Last Tuesday I took my kids to the zoo, and we spent the most time watching the monkeys. They were the most aware of our presence of all the animals there. When Faith called, “Boo!” to the baboon, he smiled, not just once but numerous times. The spider monkeys were busy trying to split open oranges and smash bugs against the Plexiglas. They seemed to enjoy an audience and craved attention. When one young boy turned to walk away, the disappointed simian stood on his feet and pressed his entire body against the glass as if to say, “Take me with you!”
Recently seeing this type of harmless mischief, I'm curious as to the possibility of intent. Was our Zambian monkey aiming for the president? If so, did he aim for his coat or did he simply miss the mark intending something a little more sinister?
Forgive me, but was there a splash effect on the neck or back of the head? Because, that would be almost unbearable.
It is said that truth is stranger than fiction. At times that proves true. Yet, even more often than truth being stranger than fiction, I have found that truth is more amusing than fiction. The success of America's Funniest Videos proves this on a daily basis. Comedians make their living bringing humor out of everyday events. The Bible tells us, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” Reader's Digest agrees with God's Word by having an entire section devoted to thigh-slappers entitled Laughter, the Best Medicine.
With all the tension in today's political realm, maybe we should just import some wild animals to Washington DC and, if you will, let nature take its course.
Written by Michael Andrzejewski for the LaGrange Daily News.