Stupidity - Guest Blogger

Touch a gun, go to jail

Confessedly, I have very little to exactly no patience for complete idiocy. It forces my heart to pump so feverishly that my very capillaries feel as though they may explode at any moment. Idiocy alone has the power to completely refashion our society into a bunch of lemming-like yes men without any capacity to process information, assess a particular situation, and arrive at a proper, logical conclusion. It threatens the foundations of justice itself and is most egregious at the highest levels of government.

This week's case in point comes straight from the land of fish and chips, the United Kingdom. There Paul Clarke, a former soldier faces a minimum, yes, minimum of five years in prison for turning in an assault weapon at the local police precinct. There is no evidence that he either purchased or discharged the weapon. Neither did he threaten anyone. His only obvious crime was having a brain.

As reported by the daily, Surrey Today, Clarke found a plastic bag in his backyard, so he retrieved it and inside discovered a sawed off shotgun with ammunition. Next, he did what any reasonable, law-abiding bloke would do under the circumstances. He phoned the police chief, advising him that he would be coming to see him at the station. When he arrived and removed the shotgun from the garbage sack, placing it on a table facing the wall, (simultaneously showing that he understood proper gun safety and he intended no one any harm) he was immediately arrested for possession of a firearm.

What?!

Evidently all the city's public servants are muttonheads because the case actually went to trial. The prosecutor argued that Clarke's intent (to make his town a safer place) was irrelevant and that the moment he touched the weapon, he was guilty.

Come again?

Somebody had to have bullied that attorney as child because there is no other way that he could have possibly ended up being such a tool.

But, I get it, now. The powers that be really preferred that he do nothing but call and report the incident while leaving the short barreled killer for neighborhood kids to play with. Maybe he shouldn't have done anything at all so that the drug dealer who tried to hide it could return, retrieve it, and employ it in the next drive-by.

Sticking with the appropriate “sheeple” metaphor of everyone ground gazing as they shuffle toward the cliff, the jury of Clarke's peers followed in Orwellian lock-step and convicted him while only deliberating for twenty minutes. They must have been late for the Spice Girls Reunion Tour or Manchester United's latest row.

Now a good man, who faithfully served his country runs the risk of spending at least half a decade behind bars because practically everyone involved in the situation is an idiot.

Yes, it's a strong word, but I believe completely applicable and terrifyingly accurate in its definition.

We have a rule in my home that we don't use the S-word, ever. Not that one – a different one. We don't use the word, stupid. However, I'm breaking my own rule right now when I say that whoever arrested, prosecuted, and convicted Paul Clarke of Surrey, England is stupid.

Bottom line: I'm glad I don't live there, for if I did I would definitely have to move.

Written by Michael Andrzejewski