Society Has Dropped The Belt - Guest Blogger

If saggy pants fall in public and there's no common sense to pick them up, does society even notice?

Moreover, if underwear were intended to be seen, wouldn't we call it outerwear?

Is this particularly disgusting and undeniably perplexing fashion trend just a matter of a simple generational divide? Twenty years from now will these same quasi-flashers be busting a three piece sag? I have my doubts.

It is more probable that we could trace the root of this pandemic of baggy britches to those who first neglected the use of the belt – the parents. Somewhere along the line, Mom and Dad replaced the type of familial cowboy diplomacy that was used for so long for a more positive, Obama style, if-I-could-just-talk-to-them method of parenting. My rather unpopular stance is that young people always need a belt, if not one to hold up their shorts, then certainly to hold up their behavior. In most families corporal punishment has gone the way of the dodo bird, and following closely behind can be seen respect for authority. I'll not be the first, nor should I be the last to say it, but kids have plenty of friends. What they really need are parents. They really need parents who love them enough to keep them in line.

I had a strict disciplinarian as a father. I didn't always like it then, but I am very thankful now. He demanded the kind of reverence that led me as a young man to ask his permission about getting a tattoo. He asked why and where. I responded with a ridiculous, “Because I really want a tattoo...” and pointed to my left shoulder. Typical.

He replied by reassuring me that I would regret it one day, telling me that he wasn't paying for it, and thanking me for respecting him enough to talk to him first. For the record, the day of regret came rather too soon than I ever anticipated.

From a very early age I was taught by all adults to say yes sir or ma'am and no sir or ma'am. If I neglected to do so in the presence of my father, I was sure to be picking myself up off the ground. It was a given.

In that day, not very long ago, there were many more societal “givens” than there are today. While there were expectations, they were neither unreasonable nor oppressive. Instead, they were normal, sensical, and purposeful. Eerily similar to belts, these expectations helped both father and son. These expectations of honesty, integrity, and courtesy warded off shame and public humiliation, simultaneously guarding society from being subjected to outward moral deviation.

When it turned from being encouraged to almost criminal to correct children alongside the Hamburger Helper, as barometric pressure drops so did the level of respect for one's elders. In no certain order, Junior's grades slipped, then went his pants, and now civility itself slides further and further south. Sadly, because we have criminalized the belt, all we have to look forward to seeing is civilization's dirty boxer shorts.

-Michael Andrzejewski

Baptism at the River

Ever witnessed a Baptism at the River?

Perhaps you've been baptized in a river?

I was baptized in a swimming pool.....I thought that was cool until I saw this.....


Precious souls walking out to meet the preacher while us on the river bank sang songs of praise....


The look of humble thanksgiving on their faces just before going under....




The symbolic white robes declaring their heart has been cleansed through Jesus' blood....


The celebrating that took place after wards with tears, hugs, shouts of Amen and lots of singing....


The public testimony these folks gave as they were baptized in a river with other non-believers all around.....






What a blessing! I couldn't help but to cry as I watched each of the five candidates wade through the water....while songs of praise were sung from the river bank...in Portuguese!

The language spoken by the people of this country that I have come to love so very much. The language I struggle to speak daily. The same language I cry frustrated tears over when I 'butcher' my thoughts and sentiments directed at those I love so very much. How I long to communicate intelligently.

It was a simple reminder.....witnessing these baptisms.

It's why we're here.
It's why we do what we do.

Summer School & Antiques

Summer school is in full swing.

Reading in English,
Writing in English,
American History......

All that fun stuff that they don't get in the normal school year.

We also do Portuguese school work to help prepare them for the following grade. We only do it for a few hours each day, but it's enough to keep them busy in the morning hours. The Portuguese kids sleep til noon each day, so that gives us a few uninterrupted hours of school time each morning. Because after lunch time (2:00 for the Portuguese) we can guarantee that our house will fill with neighborhood kids.



Today however, they were a bit distracted by these cuties. We eventually had to put them outside away from my students because nothing was getting accomplished. (Even I was distracted taking pictures!)





These little boogers are just about ready for new homes. If anyone of you reading are in the Minho area and would like a kitty, just let me know.




We have a friend who is moving into a new apartment. The landlord had this piece of furniture in the apartment that my friend didn't want. So the landlord gave her permission to give it to someone who promised to take care of it. I had no idea it would be so pretty! I'm thrilled with this new addition in my kitchen!



I'm not an antique person, but I'm sure it's antique and the stamp inside says it's from Heidelberg, Germany. I've not had any luck looking online for information.



Any advice from you guys that know about this sort of stuff???



I'm in love with it..and I don't even know what you call it!
Maybe it's a buffet?? What do you think?

Opposites Attract

Skaters and Jocks did not mix.

On any given day you'd have found me sitting innocently on a street curb or at a skate park, but to those passing by I probably looked like a groupie. With my hairstyle, clothing preferences and choice of music I guess that's what I was.

Skaters were peace loving sort of folks. The Jocks were mean and arrogant. I boycotted football games by the age of 13 promising to never attend such activities. I was secure in my world of nonconforming and I wasn't about to let anyone change that. At 14 I had most of the answers to life and I would have told you as much if you'd have asked.

One sunny, but cold January day I was visiting my Dad when my step-sister received a call from a boy that wanted to be her friend...you get the picture. While covering the mouth piece on the much too large phone receiver, my step-sister whispered, "Shane has a friend at his house....and he is hot! Do you want to talk to him?" She quickly explained that he was a jock, but that he was 'cool'.

Appalled at her gall, I said no thank you. I had a boyfriend. One who rode skateboards and was very good at it. But before I knew it the much too large phone receiver was thrust into my face with a huge grin. "He's on...talk to him!"

With a chip on my shoulder I reluctantly took the phone.

Within 5 minutes I was making fun of his girlfriend, whom I'd never met. Her name was Buffy. I couldn't help myself. I envisioned a fancy cheerleader type that followed him around to all his football games, and even worse I envisioned her with the typical late 80's hairstyle....huge 'buffy' bangs. One thing that I was certain I would never have.

The conversation didn't last long and the next day I was back at my Mom's. It was a Monday night and I was watching a movie with a few of my skater friends, when the phone rang. I ran to the kitchen to answer it and when he said, "hey...it's me".....in a voice much to deep to come from a boy barely 14, I was speechless. Accusingly I questioned him, "How'd you get my number?!" And he did what he still does today, answer a stupid question with a question. "How do you think I got it?" Quickly I took his number promising to call him back when everyone was gone.

We talked every night after school for two weeks. Mostly we argued and debated, but whatever you call it, we did a lot of it until it was time to go back to my Dad's house for the weekend. He said he'd go to Shane's house again and we could meet that Saturday in person. Shane lived just around the corner from my Dad so after lunch my step-sister and I ventured out around the neighborhood.

Scared to knock on the door, I stayed in the yard pretending to busy myself squishing leaves on a tree. When he walked out the door....I knew I was in trouble. His eyes were the first thing I noticed. The sun was shinning right through them, they were so clear. His ripped up jeans and heavy metal t-shirt were a little much for me....but his eyes had me caught. What was I getting myself into?

The next day I told my mom I had met the boy I was going to marry. She laughed at me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, 20 years later I still ask myself that question. What am I getting myself into?

I'd follow that handsome boy with clear eyes anywhere.....even to Portugal.

Help A Girl Out.....Would You?

Hi Everyone!

I'm running late this morning getting everything together for a 4th of July cook-out with friends, so this has to be short.... plus it's been one of those days and I've only been out of bed for 30 minutes.....

I forgot to put my 8 pound pork roast in the crock post last night so we'd have wonderful tender pulled park BBQ sandwiches today....uh-oh....now we might be eating PB&J.

But.....Dani Joy has sent me some good news!

I'm a finalist in her caption contest!! Woo Hoo!!

So if you'd be a dear and slip on over there and vote for me, you'd really make my day! The poll is on her side bar and it would only take a minute.

Okay...I'm off to tackle kitten poop, raw pork roasts and ornery kids.....or maybe it's me that's ornery....

I'm Horrible at Meme's

I never follow the rules with Meme's. I mean....there are enough rules in life without the added stress of those made up in the bloggy world.

I'm sorry Cathy for not doing this sooner. I love pictures though...so you tagged the right girl!

The rules were something sort of like this....post the 10th picture in your 1st picture folder.

Here it is:



This is my uncle and my love talking after a mission conference service. We were staying at a youth camp where my husband and I used to work before he went to pastor in Georgia. My uncle was the pastor of Lee's Chapel Baptist church where my husband was saved and was the youth pastor and later assoc pastor. My uncle has recently resigned Lee's Chapel after nearly 20 years as pastor to become missionaries to India. He and my aunt will be visiting us in October on their way to India.

This was taken a month before we left for Portugal. It was a very emotional mission conference for me. A lot of my family as well as some dear church family attend this church and I knew it would be the last time I saw them for quite a while. I cried like a baby.

Ahhhh.....Chicken Feet

I stopped by the butcher yesterday to pick up a few things for dinner this week. I'm very excited to say that I no longer have to snort like a pig or flap my arms like a chicken to tell the butcher which type of meat I want.

Yes, I've actually done that.

Sometimes you've just got to do what you've got to do.

I got a pork roast, a few boneless skinless chicken breast, ground pork, and one chicken cut up.

This morning, while preparing our Sunday afternoon lunch, I was washing the cut up chicken to bake when I came across the ugliest, scaliest chicken feet! I had already thrown them away when I thought to take a picture just for you, but I wasn't going to dig threw the trash that contained nasty diapers from a stomach virus plaguing my family....

enough about that....

Anyway, here is the end result...yummy chicken baking away in my oven. (without feet)



A few weeks ago we had a meeting at the house of one of the members of the church where we minister. We are doing this once a month over the next few months in an attempt to reach the friends and neighbors of those hosting the meeting. It's a good time of singing, preaching and always food and fellowship afterwards.






The kids seem to be feeling better today. Hopefully that bug is on it's way out the door!
Thanks for your prayers.







Hope you guys have a great week!

Madrid - Day 2 Photo Journey

Tuesday, after a quick 45 minute flight to Madrid, I met up with friend and fellow blogger Dani
Joy. We spent a little time at the airport fellowshiping with other friends and bloggers, then we set out on our adventure. First stop locate our hotel. (ahem..hole in the wall cheap hostal)

Pilar....I bet your glad you didn't end up going with us, huh?! ;)

While out walking on day 2, we came across this restaurant, and after a quick survey of the lunch menu we slipped inside for a delicious meal.


I had some sort of curry chicken. It was wonderful!


We ended day 2 on a great note, church! Here I met other American missionaries who have been serving faithfully in Spain for many years, as well as a precious lady, Olga who spoke Portuguese. She quickly found me after service and pulled me to the side to converse. I'm very proud to say that I actually carried on a fairly lengthy conversation without any help from anyone!

Lazy dog outside of a cute flower shop.

There wasn't much difference in Madrid than the larger cities in Portugal, but it was still a very pretty and interesting place to visit. We had beautiful weather and my camera cried out to be used.

My confused tour guide.

They call it Dunkin Coffee and not Dunkin Doughnuts....but it still had heavenly treats inside. It wasn't Krispy Kreme, but I wasn't complaining.

This poor lady was begging for a high-5.


I spent almost 12 hours in the Madrid airport on Thursday waiting for my flight to leave. I had a late flight and Danielle had a early train home, so I went on to the airport thinking I could curl up somewhere and sleep. But that didn't happen. After 4 gate changes and a 2 hour late departure, I arrived home to a grateful family and a comfy bed, complete with a handsome husband.

It's good to be home, however I was quickly thrust back into Mommy Mode and no longer the fancy European traveler as 3 of my 5 kids are sick. Life is like that, ya know. Sick babies are a way of life for me.....and I love that life! I'm so glad to be home with them again. I've returned home with a renewed sense of responsibility to my family and ministry.

Enjoy your weekend everyone.

Nina

Phobia Phriday (with the Preacher)

Welcome to another edition of our weekly posts about very random and often phunny phobias which have been medically documented in one reference book or another. Each Phriday we list, define, and give an example of one of these irrational phears, phictional or otherwise.*

Porphyrophobia - fear of the color purple (not Oprah and the movie...the actual color)

Can you imagine living in a world where you felt uneasy looking at this?

We also know that porphyrophobia often significantly impacts the quality of life. It can cause panic attacks and keep people apart from loved ones and business associates.








Don't want the porphyrophobic in-laws over for Christmas? Decorate with these....problem solved.



Can you imagine telling your college professor that you can't do that research paper because you have a fear of the color purple?

As always, have a wonderful weekend in the Lord Jesus, and remember if you are porphyrophobic, stay away from the tulip gardens.

*No attempt is made to truly offend or belittle an actual medical condition that the reader may or may not have. If such offense was taken, we sincerely apologize, advise you to contact the applicable counselor, and avoid contact with this blog post until such phobia has been overcome.

That's Funny - Guest Blogger

There's funny. There's hilarious, and then there's a monkey urinating on the Zambian president. I'm not quite sure where this falls into your comedic scale, but for me it is well into the ninetieth percentile. A brief account from Breitbart.com provides for us a few interesting details including several quotes from President Rupiah Banda himself.

Upon detecting the monkey pee Banda spoke directly to the offending primate who was squatting in an overhead tree. The president proclaimed, “You have urinated on my jacket.” He then turned to the reporters with whom he was speaking and quipped, “I will give this monkey for lunch to Mr. Sata,” speaking of his defeated opponent in the last election. Maybe it's some sort of cultural olive branch to offer someone a monkey for lunch.

I suppose that would be an act of goodwill toward his opponent. Were it to happen in the United States, can you imagine the PETA firestorm that would ensue? That single statement of retribution for “making water” alone would incite protests, especially after our Swatter-in-Chief Obama smacked that annoying fly during an interview a couple of weeks ago.

For me though, the questions around Banda's misfortune are numerous. Does this kind of monkey urine stain? What about the stench? If it were me, I would have to just toss the jacket in the trash and move right along. I'm not trying to have it dry-cleaned. It's going straight to the dumpster.

Last Tuesday I took my kids to the zoo, and we spent the most time watching the monkeys. They were the most aware of our presence of all the animals there. When Faith called, “Boo!” to the baboon, he smiled, not just once but numerous times. The spider monkeys were busy trying to split open oranges and smash bugs against the Plexiglas. They seemed to enjoy an audience and craved attention. When one young boy turned to walk away, the disappointed simian stood on his feet and pressed his entire body against the glass as if to say, “Take me with you!”

Recently seeing this type of harmless mischief, I'm curious as to the possibility of intent. Was our Zambian monkey aiming for the president? If so, did he aim for his coat or did he simply miss the mark intending something a little more sinister?

Forgive me, but was there a splash effect on the neck or back of the head? Because, that would be almost unbearable.

It is said that truth is stranger than fiction. At times that proves true. Yet, even more often than truth being stranger than fiction, I have found that truth is more amusing than fiction. The success of America's Funniest Videos proves this on a daily basis. Comedians make their living bringing humor out of everyday events. The Bible tells us, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” Reader's Digest agrees with God's Word by having an entire section devoted to thigh-slappers entitled Laughter, the Best Medicine.

With all the tension in today's political realm, maybe we should just import some wild animals to Washington DC and, if you will, let nature take its course.

Written by Michael Andrzejewski for the LaGrange Daily News.

Madrid ~ Day 1 Photo Journey

Praise the Lord for a safe, tranquil flight!


Dani Joy, Ashley, Pilar and myself. Brief meeting at the airport. Pilar was going to come with us on our trip to Madrid, but decided to make a quick trip to The States instead. Our planes crossed paths in the Madrid airport, so I was able to meet her in person!

Told you where you'd find us gals!!

Self photos...got to love em.

Wow!! BBQ sauce! If I had any more room in my luggage I would have bought all 3 flavors!

What's this guy's problem?

Don't ask me what this was called....I called it good!

This lady sprayed herself with something nasty and sat like a statue in the sun wanting people to put money in her pot. Yeah, right.

When I think of Spain, this is what I think of.

And this lady?!? Okay...whatever....


Have a great week everyone....more pictures to come.


Nina

Count Down Begins....

I have less than 24 hours before I leave for Madrid. I'm busy packing, making meals for my family and weighing my bag over and over again. It's amazing how quickly I put 10 kilos in my bag. My bag alone weighs almost 2!!

So for now I'll leave you with a few pictures.

The next time I post it will be done from Madrid! Have a great week!

Nina

Longings & Lazy Lounging

A few things I miss about America. Specifically...the south.


1) grits

2) skin-so-soft used as a bug repellent

3) Huge, ginormous watermelons

4) tanning beds & pedicures

5) Mexican, Japanese and Mediterranean restaurants

6) pepperoni

7) Diet. Dr. pepper

8) consignment shops & thrift stores

9) my friends and family

10) choirs singing

11) ladies retreats........ohhh....but get this.....

Next Tuesday morning I'll board a budget airline flight to Madrid, Spain where I'll spent three days and two restful nights with my friend and fellow missionary wife, Dani Joy.



Sounds fancy, doesn't it?

Well, my plane ticket costs less than $20. I can't check any luggage. I'm almost certain that I'll not get any peanuts or soft drinks. I'll probably have to sit in some one's lap. I just hope they can afford to put enough fuel in the plane. (I mean seriously...how can an airline survive charging such ridiculously low fares?!) With toll roads and $8 a gallon gas....it's silly to not fly.

I'm not complaining, mind you...it's just a thought. For a consignment shop-thrift store shopping gal....this is my type of airline! Forget the thrills, just give me cheap!

My 1 cabin bag can weigh up to 22 pounds and must contain my purse, laptop and anything that I'll be taking. Oh, and it can only be so big...like the size of a back pack.



It's a good thing that I'm not high maintenance.

Must haves for my trip:

1)camera
2)laptop
3)toothbrush
4)clean undies
5)wi-fi capable hotel room

Just give me technology, and I'm good to go. That's not high maintenance, is it?




Enjoy these beautiful pictures of Madrid, and pretend that I took them. Pretend I did all the sight seeing there is to do in such a grand city.

Because in reality, you'll find my friend and I sitting in a Starbucks sipping frapuccinos & giggling. Or maybe even in the hotel room at 2:00 pm eating breakfast in our pj's. (I'll spare you those pictures)

When I say restful.... that's exactly what I mean.

But you know me, I'll probably manage to get a few pictures in... ;)



So don't go judging me. This trip is costing less than your average trip to Wal-Mart. Cheap travel between European countries is one of the perks of living over here.

But remember....I don't have Krispy Kreme.

(I'd trade you any day)

Phobia Phriday (with the Preacher)

Welcome to another edition of our weekly posts about very random and often phunny phobias which have been medically documented in one reference book or another. Each Phriday we list, define, and give an example of one of these irrational phears, phictional or otherwise.*

Arachibutyrophobia - phear of peanut butter sticking to the rooph of the mouth

This website thankphully informs us that, iph you are victim of this phobia, then you will dephinitely try to shun situations where you will be compelled to eat peanut butter.

Was it phorced on him? What kind of menace would compel someone with such a disorder to eat something so terriphying yet so tasty.

Our son, Justice dephinitely doesn't have arachibutyrophobia as he eats a good old PB&J sandwich most days for lunch, and it doesn't really matter to him iph he has anything to drink or not. More ophten than not he wanders through the remainder of the day with the evidence on either side of his mouth. When do they learn not to bite the sandwich directly in the center? Does that arrive about the same time as reflexes?

As always, have a wonderful weekend in the Lord Jesus, and remember iph you are arachibutyrophobic, stay away from any and all Reese's products.

*No attempt is made to truly offend or belittle an actual medical condition that the reader may or may not have. If such offense was taken, we sincerely apologize, advise you to contact the applicable counselor, and avoid contact with this blog post until such phobia has been overcome.

European Living - Portuguese Purple

Portuguese Purple is what we've named it.

The striking hair color that about 30% of the female population has. Hmmmm...maybe more......yes, I'm certain, it is more.

It's not that I don't like it. It's not that I think only the 'weird' girls have it, cause woman from 13-99 have this color hair.

I think it's that I don't have the guts to do it.

I'm jealous....that's it.





If this lady selling flowers at the market can pull it off with a smile like that, then I should be able to also.

I'm all about trying to fit in around these parts. To lessen the cultural gap between me and my Portuguese neighbors.

I use my bidet, I roll my shades up at the right time and am careful to put them down when the sun starts to set (unwritten rule).

So all I need now is Portuguese Purple hair color and perhaps, shopping split.


What'dya think? Can I pull it off?

European Living - The Shade

And for the next installment to....European Living....

The Shade

I have no idea what these things are really called.

But whatever their name is......they're awesome!


You pull that gray cord on the left....and wa-lah! You have light!




Here is an outside view....



These things are great for creating a dark room in the middle of the day when you're craving a nap. Or during the heat of the summer, we keep them closed to help keep the house a tiny bit cooler. However, this theory has not been proven. Once this house gets hot, In my opinion, there's nothing to cool it off. Imagine a very large brick....that's what this house feels like...baking in the sun. I'm a southern gal. I'm from where EVERY house has air conditioning. Call me spoiled, I guess.



So again, when I'm old and retired and I build my dream house on the eastern coast of America, all my bathrooms will have bidets and all my windows will have shades.

Stay tuned for more installments to...European Living.

Operation iMac

What's Operation iMac, you ask?

It's my journey on the long road to owning one of these babies. And I stress long road.

Somethings in life just aren't fair. That I can't go out and buy one of these computers is wrong. It's just not fair. It's been a long time since I pitched a fit, but just thinking about this computer not sitting on my desk, (ahem..kitchen counter)

my desk

makes me want to pitch a royal one.

But I'm out of practice on fit pitching. I'd feel like a goober if I tried to pitch one. I just can't do them like some girls can. Don't you feel sorry for me?

Moving right along....

No wait a second, let's go back to my operation...

Do you know how cool Mac's are? My husband's had a MacBook Pro for about 3.5 years. The same one.


And it's still better than the new computers you buy today. He won his online doing one of those deals where you try all these offers and after completing so many, your supposed to get a new computer in the mail. (Yeah right....or so I thought!) I've always been the pessimistic one in the family.

Okay.....for real, moving along now....

But speaking of my husband, he's been posting so much lately I'm beginning to think that he's trying to take over my blog.

I've got news for him....that...that...fancy computer owning weasel.

(Oops...I just bit into a plumb and shot juice all over my keyboard. Maybe I will get a new computer sooner than I thought....hehehee....that's what I can do. Sabotage! But with my luck my hubby will go buy me a new HP just so he can stay one up on me.)

I'm not the nerdy-electronic-gadget sort of girl. But with an iMac I'll be what ever sort of girl you want to call me. Just standing in the store looking at these beautiful creations makes me want to do that villainous laugh....

"Wha -Ha-Ha-Ha!!"

Such power. Such control.


I said I was done with this didn't I?

Bye.

Have a good weekend, my new iMac...wherever you are.

Phobia Phriday (with the Preacher)

Welcome to another edition of our weekly posts about very random and often phunny phobias which have been medically documented in one reference book or another. Each Phriday we will list, define, and give an example of one of these irrational phears, phictional or otherwise.*

Asymmetriphobia - a phear of asymmetrical things
It may also be called -

• The phear of mismatched things
• The phear of one-sided things
• The phear of things that aren't symmetrical
• The phear of things that have a lack of symmetry

Maybe that's the way asymmetriphobia began...aphter looking through old baby photos you realize that there was something crazy about that sweater that Granny knitted you as a baby. Out of phear of offending her mother-in-law, she made you wear that out of kilter thing all the time. Now, 30 years later you have problems looking at this:

"Get me outta here! Straight lines! Must....have....straight lines! Neeeeedddd equality and balance!"

As always, have a wonderful weekend in the Lord Jesus, and remember iph you are asymmetriphobic, stay away phrom the abstract collection in your local art museum.

*No attempt is made to truly offend or belittle an actual medical condition that the reader may or may not have. If such offense was taken, we sincerely apologize, advise you to contact the applicable counselor, and avoid contact with this blog post until such phobia has been overcome.

European Living - Shopping Split

“Look at that,” I encouraged my wife as we sat quietly eating our food court lunch. I slowly, in disgust, lowered my interesting Texican Whopper, complete with a spicy sauce and some sort of fried bean hash brown creation. As she looked, Nina put down her fork, trying to keep a cold piece of corn from shooting across the heavily trafficked floor. The food wasn't the problem. The sight was. In fact, the brief glance was almost enough to ruin the meal for the both of us. Frightening. Vomitous. Not to mention blinding. The terror in question was neither the first nor the last unsolicited view of “shopping split.”

Succinctly stated, shopping split is my name for the female version of carpenter's crack – only more severe. It occurs most frequently at malls, grocery stores, cafes, and open air markets. Its victims are mostly vain, plump, and precariously unaware of their surroundings. They most likely have hair color from a bottle, and the majority of shopping split cases are reported as a result of the combination of denim and high heels than any other fashion mixture known to man.

For those of you who just landed on planet earth, according to an urban dictionary website, carpenter's crack (aka plumber's smile or coin slot) is, “a view of the top of the buttocks and gluteal cleft while a man's pants descend due to bending over (because it frequently happens to overweight carpenters, plumbers, etc.)”

This particular case was an egregious one. Because I don't always carry a tape measure with me, the conservative, naked eye estimate had to suffice and amounted to an easy five, if not six inches. More disturbing than that was the lack of evidence of any undergarments, thus blowing the door wide open for a myriad of hygiene related snags. Thankfully, this occurrence was not accompanied by the hideous tramp stamp marking.

Shopping split in Portugal is an ever growing epidemic. Nearly all the ladies here seem to wear a size 6 when they should just buy an 8. The problem accelerates with hip huggers and fabric thrifty blouse designers. European tailors are continually making the area from the crotch to the belt line smaller and smaller in both men's and women's pants, while the shirttail has all but become extinct.

So, Senhora Shopping Split continued eating, being refreshed by the cool breeze on her backside. Slightly frustrated and bizarrely curious, I asked my modest wife, “Does she not know? Can she not feel that?” Others were beginning to take notice also as heads turned and nods increased. Oblivious to the half moon she was shining to anyone walking by, yet keen to the whispers and funny looks that increased, Mrs. Moonie's ears must have been on fire.

In the end, she decided to do something about it. She treated the symptoms rather than the problem, and she did so mainly because that was all that she could do at that moment. However, I fear that she, along with so many others, will remain in denial and live with shopping split forever.

The incident ended quietly yet defiantly when she stood to her feet, grabbed the belt loop located at 6 o'clock on the waistband, and heaved (much more than ho'd). She successfully, although momentarily closed the crack while managing to lift herself ever so slightly from the earth. Crisis diverted. Case closed...until her daughter drops her toy in the parking deck.

Written by my favorite guest blogger. Tell me....do you guys ever see Shopping Split? Or maybe you're a proud wearer? One just about has to walk around the malls looking at the ceiling if you don't want to see every present females backside. Please explain this phenomenon to me.

European Living - The Bidet

Wikipedia defines 'bidet':

A bidet is a low-mounted plumbing fixture or type of sink intended for washing the genitalia, inner buttocks, and anus. Originally a French word, in English bidet is pronounced /bɪˈdeɪ/ (US) or /ˈbiːdeɪ/ (UK).


Sounds lovely doesn't it?



Us Americans, who aren't used to seeing these extra fixtures in our bathrooms automatically condemn them. Calling them disgusting, strange or....European. We blow off such oddities, dismissing them as unusual and unnecessary objects.

Because, you want to know....don't they have toilet paper in Portugal? Aren't bidets a thing of the past? Why do they still put them in new construction?

And the question that's eating away at you......go ahead and ask it....

"Do you guys actually use those things?!"

Well, my answer is this...

unashamedly, I say ...... YES I use them, and I couldn't imagine life without them now that I've gotten used to them.

Before you start grossing out, listen to all these cool uses the bidet has.
Not only are they good for cleaning 'down under' but they are good for....

soaking clothes, or washing delicates.

scrubbing dirty flip-flops

bathing babies (Justice had quick baths in the bidet until about 6 months ago)

washing feet before bedtime



The list of things one could use a bidet for is endless. My Grandmother would have loved to have one of these in her bathroom. She gave me baths with sloppy wet wash cloths before bed each night that left the floor and my pj's drenched. A bidet would have been nice back then.

One family who never used their bidet in the conventional way, scrubbed it up real good, placed a mirror behind the faucet and let their little girl use it as her own personal sink. Where she washed her hands and even brushed her teeth. It was the perfect size for her.

When I'm rich and old and retired (yeah right) I'll build a house somewhere on the eastern boarder of America, and you can bet all of my bathrooms will contain a bidet.


Stay tuned for another installment to....

European Living.

Phobia Phriday (with the Preacher)

Welcome to the first edition of our new weekly posts about very random and often phunny phobias which have been medically documented in one reference book or another. Each Phriday we will list, define, and give an example of one of these irrational fears, fictional or otherwise.*

Peladophobia - fear of bald people
Common symptoms of peladophobia include but are not limited to: breathlessness, excessive sweating, and inability to speak or think clearly.

Admittedly, the dude with goggles is pretty scary. If I stared at that long enough, I may develop a hint of peladophobia; however, how far does this phobia go? Does it also apply to mannequins?

What about women?

Dogs?

Inquiring minds want to know.

As always, have a wonderful weekend in the Lord Jesus, and remember if you are peladophobic, stay away from those wig shops.

*No attempt is made to offend or belittle an actual medical condition that the reader may or may not have. If such offense was taken, we sincerely apologize, advise you to contact the applicable counselor, and avoid contact with this blog post until such phobia has been overcome.

Is It June Already?

It's June 3rd. According to the calendar it's not Summer yet, but in my little corner of the world, I would argue that point.

It's hot! Hotter inside my house, than it is outside. How does that happen?

The kids will be done with school in less than two weeks. We'll all enjoy staying up a little later in the evenings and sleeping a little later in the mornings. Then after a week or two of lazy summer living, they'll start summer school with mom. Portuguese work preparing them for the next school year and some "American" school work too (as the kids call it).

My mom is coming the end of July for 10 days! We are all thrilled to have someone visit in the summer months, Usually due to the high costs of airfare, no one can come during the these months. Our house is already hot, imagine how hot it will be at the end of July. Don't tell my Mom that.

After about 6 hours of cat labor, we have 5 little kittens that were born on Monday. They're the ugliest little things right now, but once they grow into their cutness, I'll be posting some photos....I mean...look at this poor guy....



As far as the ministry is concerned, all is well. God is blessing greatly. My husband is staying busy preaching several times each week in church services, special ministry meetings to widows and in homes where fellow Christians are holding services in an attempt to reach their neighbors with the Gospel. We've recently spent many hours doing some minor construction to the inside of the church building and major spring cleaning which has left everyone excited and encouraged about the ministry.

Our summer calendar is filling up quickly with various evangelistic projects, church pic-nics, church fellowships and visitors. We're also trying to throw in a family vacation somewhere in between......

I'd like to ask you to pray for a friend of ours June McCarty, who recently lost her sister unexpectedly.

Also for our co-workers Maicon and Leticia, as they received sad news yesterday that she had miscarried.

And please remember us, The Andrzejewski Family as we work here in northern, Portugal.

Free Kittens - Guest Blogger

“It looks like a skinny chicken!” was one of the first comments that we heard as our kids watched their cat give birth to the first of several kittens. It looked more like a hairless rat to me. Honestly, thinking back now had I not seen the momma with the baby, I might have called the local volunteer fire department to report the first ever citing of an infant Portuguese Chupacabra, which is Mexican for a goat-sucking urban legend that preys on small animals in places like Puerto Rico, Miami, and Russia.

Google it first, look at pictures of a ten minute old kitten, and then try to tell me I'm wrong. Dead ringer if there ever was one.

Since today is Kid's Day here in Portugal, we let the girls stay home from school in the afternoon to watch the miracles of feline delivery. All they did up until lunchtime at school was paint. No reading, 'righting, and 'rithmetic today. It's Kid's Day! What joys of the Portuguese educational system. Anyway, we concluded that it would be much more educational to watch the contractions, endless licking, and chewing off of the umbilical cord that goes along with the animal kingdom in its natural habitat – a plastic clothes basket stuffed with towels on my couch.

Faith wants to be a veterinarian when she grows up, so she was thrilled when Tigra crawled up into her lap, already seeping preparatory fluid for the coming delivery. Presented with the first opportunity, she quickly went and changed her socks and skirt but returned undeterred by such minor distractions.

All Nina could say as she watched was, “I know Tig. I know.” Thinking of the names I was called each time she brought one of our kids into this world, I slowly and quietly exited the room before I was blamed for a family's worth of labor pains.

I suppose a certain mercy and strange curiosity drove my wife to assist her pet as she travailed.

All of this started, when Nina plucked her from a mud puddle in the middle of the road about a year ago. When she got home, she sheepishly came to my office revealing that she had rescued a kitten that was sure to die any moment. It was disoriented, soaking wet, blind, and could barely breathe. Although she half expected me to get a shovel and take away the cat's misery, I authorized an unknown vet bill for a free kitten. She jumped in the van and returned with wonderful news. Much to my surprise, the young female vet didn't charge her anything because we rescued the cat and promised to give it a good home. The generous vet would repeat the practice when we adopted a skittish, maltreated black lab a few months later. Now, whenever we go, the good Dr. only charges us for medication. Obviously she's not in it for the money.

We have treated our animals there as they have needed it with only one major exception. Due to financial constraints we ignored Bob Barker's faithful advice. You remember, “Bob Barker reminding you: help control the pet population. Have your pet spayed or neutered. Goodbye, everybody!”

Now comes the real work – finding a good home for animals who, in our part of the world, are regularly put in plastic bags and thrown in dumpsters or drowned in mud puddles. That, and coming up with $200 so this doesn't happen again.

Written by Michael Andrzejewski for The LaGrange Daily News.

Good Bye To Good Friends

Wednesday we hosted a BBQ with our friends and co-laborers to say goodbye to Leandro and Priscilla. They will be returning to Brazil the first of June. We wish them well and pray that God would give them clear direction for their future. It's been a blessing getting to know them.

Here are some pictures....as usual...



Leandro and Priscilla


Enjoying the beautiful day.


BBQ Brazilian Style





The good life!


Bingo in the grass.


Tigra found a cool place to rest. She's going to have kittens soon.


Looking at fruit trees.


Make a note....It is possible for a man to wash dishes! I have proof! And notice the homemade ice cream!!

The preachers.


The preachers and their families.





Trin with her goofy grin.


My Love

Have a great weekend everyone!

Blessings Arrived From Hoover, AL

Melissa and her class at church of precious young ladies have gathered and mailed these wonderful items to us. These young ladies learn about missions and missionaries at church, and then turn around and do special projects as the Lord directs.

(Get a load of this!!!)


Melissa said after my post about the cost of no stick cooking spray in Croatia (it's not even available in Portugal) that she was moved to encourage her class to collect items that are hard to find on the mission field.

Convenience items are almost non-existent here, so all these items will be cherished!

The girls have already carried Fruit Roll Ups to school to show the kids how cool American snacks are! And with these sugar free snacks, I've been given that boost I needed with my diet.

Two boxes arrived yesterday with what appears to be all the items pictures here except the Pam spray. Due to restrictions about aerosol cans, they'll have to ship the Pam spray by boat.

I tell you what....after all the trouble these folks have gone through to be a blessing to us...I'm so humbled it makes me want to cry.

Thank you Melissa and girls!

Our prayers are that God would bless you abundantly for your thoughtfulness and sacrifice.