ACS – Ask Your Doctor About ItI have been thinking about having an operation. Although I have yet to ask my physician about the condition, my powers of self diagnosis are rarely wrong. I have, in fact, lived in this same body for over thirty years. The only hurdle to my surgically enhanced well-being is current medical technology. I'm not convinced that such a procedure has ever been performed, but after much discomfort and increased problems, I have done my best to put a name on this horrible disease.
Maybe, I really need a support group. Would any one of the ten of my readers like to join and provide me comfort and assistance? You may possibly have the same condition, remaining in denial after having lost all hope for a cure.
Well then, let's waste no more time. [Standing] Hello, my name is Michael, and I have ACS – Attenuated Craw Syndrome. That is, things just keep getting stuck there. I have tried everything that I know to do, swallowing hard, staying away from issues that are difficult to digest. You name it. I've tried it, but to no avail.
Things just keep getting stuck in my craw. Perhaps I have a weakened or underdeveloped craw. Perhaps I simply have a craw that it much smaller than the average size.
What things you ask, normally get stuck in my craw? What is stuck there right now is a feigned attempt at unity, with the express intent to divide. That gets me every time. Take for instance our recent inauguration where the Rev. Joseph Lowery invoked God to help us work for a day, “when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around – when yellow will be mellow – when the red man can get ahead, man – and when white will embrace what is right.”
Besides playing nursery rhymes while racializing what should be a solemn request to a holy God, Rev. Lowery perpetuated the myth that the United States is still living in the 1950s. Isn't the fact that our nation now has a bi-racial president (equal parts black and white) proof enough that black is not currently being asked to get back, neither will he be asked to do so in the future. Isn't it proof enough that Asians living in the U.S. remain, generally speaking, the most law abiding and prosperous members of society. They are neither hateful, nor terror loving, yet Lowery wants God to help us work for a day when they will be mellow? He speaks as if they are Al-Qaeda.
All of this just sticks in my craw. I don't blame President Obama. He didn't write Lowery's insipid request. No, I blame myself. I blame that particular part of my anatomy where my craw may be found, in addition to blaming the culture that prolongs a ridiculous sense of entitlement.
On the surface, he says that we need to strive for a day when everyone will be seen as equal, but his intent was solely to spout that the white man keeps everybody down. In Lowery's eyes the white man has yet to do what is right, but God help us to work for a day when he will! Instead of unifying, all he did was open up a wound that keeps trying to heal.
It just sticks in my craw. If you have the same problem – call it ACS and ask your doctor about it.
Written by Michael Andrzejewski for the LaGrange Daily News